| David Gane

Forgetting Things

I had a post planned for this week but I've forgotten what it was supposed to be about.

The funny thing is that I remember that it was BLANK and the solid nature of BLANK. Yet, I notice that I talked about concrete last week, so maybe I'm just mixing up these two ideas.

I've checked what I'd been writing in my notebook this week, but it gave me no clues as to what the hell I was thinking. I have notes on the journey from apprenticeship, journeyman, then master craftsmen, but nothing relates to solid BLANK.

When I come to these moments, it makes me worry. My dad had Alzheimer's, so maybe its signs of things to come.

Yet, I don't really believe any of what I just wrote.

Early on in my writing, I quit trying to capture every idea I have. Sure, I sometimes write things down so I don't forget them and I have a few old saved files that give me hints to story ideas, but most of the time, I just hope to remember them when the time comes. My theory is that if the idea was any good, I'll remember it again. If it isn't, I don't really need to clutter my mind.

I'm also a very absent-minded guy. It drives my wife crazy. I forget what she says to me all the time. I forget the names of people (but often remember their faces). Any form of data to be memorized like dates, definitions of words I will use once or twice in a year, are all lost on me.

Maybe it's a condition or a lack of respect. Some people might connect it to my dad, but I connect it more to my weakness in the moment of imprinting. I just don't pay enough attention, because I get distracted and stuck in my own head full of ideas.

I could stress about it, but that only makes it worse, then I'll obsess about the thing that I forgot, and no longer focus on anything I should be remembering in the present.

I think it also is why I'm obsessed with numbers and figures in my writing, and why I need things to be in a certain order. I think it is why I try to get to places early, and have my weekly planner set up the way I do. I think its also why I like to take long walks, so that my mind has time to settle and I can get clear lines of thought on the things I need to sort out.

But for now, you'll have to forgive me. I hoped that this act of writing would remind me what I was going to do a post about but it never did. So, you and I will just have to settle with this one.

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