| Angie Counios
Time to reflect
This whirl wind is slowing down like every amazing storm I gaze at in the summertime sky. It swirls. It's scary and it looks gorgeous. Then it leaves and things are fresh and shaken up.
The week leading up to the Sask Book Awards was really busy. There were interviews on radio and television, panels in Moose Jaw and Regina and finally the awards.
Saturday came and I woke up too early. Wired. Nervous. Excited. I ran errands then found distraction with a friend at the Farmers Market. I purchased some lavender honey there. Delicious.
Eventually it was time to get dressed up. Put makeup on. Find jewelry. But I didn't. I sat on my bed in my underwear and had a little freak out. I felt fear? Hesitation? I wanted to get under the covers and hide. I didn't want to go to the awards for a about four and a half minutes.
Panic and fix it time
I messaged a good friend and she gave me the words I needed to keep going. I got dressed and then did what Shonda Rhimes would do. I opened a bottle of wine, turned on some music and danced it out in my tiny place by myself. Yep. That's what I did to find that courage. It worked. Thank you, Shonda.
My date picked me up and off we went. You can read Dave's version of what happened here. It's accurate. Thank you - We Won The SBA First Book Award
When we were announced as the winners of the First Book Award the words Along Comes A Wolfe were so clear in my ears. Have you ever looked around and things seem brighter or clearer than normal? This was almost the same thing but the clarity was in my ears. It was weird. As soon as I heard those words it was like there was no other sound in the room. Then there was a lot of sound! Cheering. Clapping. I felt instant happiness. I felt like smacking my flat hands on the table and then throwing them in the air with a big woo hoo. Our publisher hugged both Dave and I. We are her first published win which is a double win. High-fived Dave and we made our way to the stage.
On stage I looked around at the people in the audience. I smiled. And then I let out a very honest "this is sooooo cool" I heard people laugh. I laughed. It was the simplest way to express what I was feeling.
We said our very grateful thank you's. Dave got verklempt and later verified the meaning of the word. It was adorable. We came down and had our picture taken with the presenter.
Dave and I hugged.
I sat down.
I looked around at the people, the event, my people, our publisher, my sister, Dave, the table, everything.
Getting real time
And then just like that I started to weep. I couldn't control it. It just rose up from inside me, a big ball of happy grateful tears. I didn't cry until that moment. I didn't even feel a waver until everything was done and I had time to really take it all in. I was on the edge of the ugly cry - you know what I'm talking about. But there was no place for it here.
I have only felt this overwhelming gush of good vibes a few times - the time I floated over the desert in Cappadocia, Turkey in a hot air balloon and realized that I could have almost anything I wanted or the time I sat at a simple farm house in Greece and dined with new friends watching the olive grove and the sunset.
I realize that these perfect moments are not for someone else. They are for me...to take if I want them and if I work towards them. And if I am wise enough to let myself experience them when they are happening.
So much gratitude.
Blessed (again and again).
Photo credit for the image of us high-fiving goes to Eagleclaw Thom (photographer).